There's no better way to evaluate your mind and thought process then to write stuff out, Sometimes you realize how fucking stupid you are, other times you realize, HOLY SHIT! I got something good here.
First and foremost Happy New Years to all and to all a happy new year. Man I don't think I need to run off all that was wrong with 2020, because lord knows we all have a laundry list of things that was wrong for 80% of last year.
Yes Johnny, we all are wondering What the furry burning hell!?
I think the biggest wrong in '20 was the fact that I was in bed last night leading up to the calendar flip, who in the hell does that and again Johnny, what type of world are we living in!?! That's my 20's talking, sorry (above and below is pic of how I typically bring in the new year). My 30's however has given me a new way of taking a pissy and shitty experience (which was '20 for most of us) and at least being able to spell my name with it. (the piss not the shit)
A more normal new years celebration friends, overly dressed women and liquor, LOTS OF IT!
30's me first thought this morning waking up in '21 was as follow;
With the right perspective it was So much to learn from '20, on all levels. Mostly for me was GRATITUDE AND GRACE! March 11(ironically my little brothers birthday) I remember what I was doing and where I was at (It was a Wednesday night, I was definitely at Brother's bar and grill alone enjoying 40 cent wing night, as I do every Wednesday for like the last 2 years) when they cancelled the NBA game I was watching, 5 min before tip off THAT HAS NEVER HAPPENED, I then knew we had a big problem! Then a couple days later on Friday the 13th kids in school was told to prepare not to come back on monday, Monday most schools closed! (and the shithead kids, instead of seeing a crisis they thought finally the world they dream of was upon us.)
Our lives changed in a blink of an eye, and all the freedoms we enjoy (going out, being able to dine in a restaurant, travel, watch and go to sporting events, shop) was taking away in a snap.
As that old adage goes, "you never know what you have til it's gone" 2020 was case and point of that! So here in 2021, my resolution, which I never make (cause 9 times out of 10 we fail at conquering em, and failure while teaching us a lesson, just feel horrible! Lol) 2021 my resolution is just to stay in the moment, every moment be conscious of my existence and give thanks for it. Give thanks all the time for all that is, rather good or bad, appreciate what you have and even what you don't! There we're people in '20 who had problems some of you , including myself, didn't have like not being able to work.
2021, as things get back to a sense of normalcy, as they will no mater the timeline, one thing I do wanna carry over from '20 is the lessons and perspective it gave me, so I can constantly be reminded to live '21 and beyond with a great amount of
Merry Christmas to all and to all Merry Christmas!
There's no better gift in the world than the love of the important people who exist in your life!
To all of you who give my life meaning, I love you, and thank you for keeping me in this happy space, and creating this comfort that I get from this crazy place! 😘
Monday, November 30, 2020
So today I was just riding around doing my monday usual and A song I havent heard in a very long time came through the speakers. It was a song I haven't heard in avery long time, but one I always did love. It's called "Without A Woman" by Trey Songz. The line that grabs me in the chorus is "I'm telling you a man can't be a man, without a woman." So you can only imagine what happened in my mind, it's start racing and churning and I started to ask myself, is this true? This totally in my wheel house, not cause I know anything, at all, cause I don't. I don't know shit, I like every beating heart, just have an opinion, usually unpopular, but of course it exist, so today I want to share it with you.
IT's TRUE, Yes I genuinely agree with Trey Songz in his song and lyrics, A man Can't be a man without a woman. It's been said that men's masculinity is something that is elusive (it must be earned) and tenuous (it must continually be proven). Who makes those rules, hell if I know but that a pretty universal stances. It is my belief, that in today's world, everything that makes a man masculine, is determine by social doctrine and the standards place upon by the world around us. I never seen it as a great idea that to best any thing we do off societal normals, or social doctrine, there's a million reason why I feel that way, it's a post for another day, but the fact of the matter is we all do, and we do it A Lot!
With that said, It's hard to argue the fact that a Man is what a Woman says he is. I mean think about it, a 'REAL' man is usually based off how he treat a Woman, rather that woman be his significant other, wife, mother, sister, daughter, I mean just listen to song(I even gave you the video with lyrics so you can read the song) Outside of money (which one could argue men only want to buy the things to impress women, or buy women for that matter) evrything else a man does is based off women. The job they work, most of the times, I experienced this at it's highest working and being a part of the fire service, hey I'm guilt too. Go into your local gym, ask every man in there why do they lift weights, of course their not going to be honest and say "Women" but another thing I know they won't say is "Health and Wellness" and for whatever answer they give you, if your follow up question is What is it you do for a living? More times than not, their living don't require them to be deadlifting 5,000 pounds, bench pressing 2,000 pounds and squatting 1,000 pounds. I'm willing to go out on limb and say 85% to 90% of men in your local crunch and or planet fitness is lifting for appearance to impress, guess who? Yep! Women. The Men choose to drive, The house, and location Men choose to live, I can go on, and on but it's all for women.
So with that being established, rather it's wrong or right it is what it is, that's actually not why i'm writing here today. My mind actually wonder to 'Ok, be that as it may, what does that say about the men/women sphere and where we stand when it comes to men/women when it comes to relationships specifically.' Now we're talking. Let's look at marriage in the country, according to American Psychological Association In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. That's a pretty good number if you ask me, but then it turns bad when the APA also report about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher. For many many of years the divorce rate in this country have been up over 50% but what even more eye opening is Since 1970 the amount of people getting married continues to fall. Why? maybe that'll be my next research project but for now let's try to stay on topic.
The problem with Men needing Women to be Men is what happens to Men and Women when this ideology becomes true for the Majority. It is in my opinion that when women learned this, it created two types of women. The first type of woman, was the woman whom learn the power of their femininity, and lets call it what it is, there feminine parts. I mean we can look at the extremes of porn, or bring it down a notch and look at the boom of IG models, and the boom and growth of the new 'OnlyFans'. Women are using their femininity to make money, swoon men and get pretty much whatever they want. Let's be clear I'm not saying all is bad about this fact, or that I wouldn't do it if I could. The other type of woman you get is the woman who is highly independent. I think these women tend to use their independence to make a man feel less then, to use their accomplishments and material possessions, not only to cover up some other flaws, but to attack the masculinity of man and their need of a men. Now on the other end, What happens to one type of man is they get swoon and suck into make a woman dreams a reality, while in the process, losing themselves, what they stand for and stand on, and any individuality of what makes them uniquely their own man, and the other type of man, it's easy; your not a man.
So, when you get the coming together of any type of woman described in the paragraph above, and really any men, what you get is this; nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women.(according to ADA) In a context to this post that's kind of humorous, in the context of life, it's not. So why is this? I mean hell if I know, I guess A Man needs A Woman to be a man, and when your specific woman decide your not a man then, your out and she's going to build her another one. Nah, but seriously in my opinion this fact is a problem. I think men failed to realize that, you'll never be able to make a woman's dream reality, because that dream is like a impossible feat to reach, it changes everyday like you change underwear. I believe women have to understand that your dream will ONLY become a reality when YOU make that dream a reality, it's not going to be accomplish by any man or hell anyone else for that matter, just go ask every woman on that housewives of hell or whatever that reality show is called you ladies love, or go ask the basketball wives of where ever they'll tell you too, or if not the fact that they rotate through starting 5's more than an NBA All-star game should be a tell-tell sign. For you fellas, don't be a fool. Do for you, the things you desire and want to do first,k Hold on to your identity and masculinity . I have seen it in my own family/social group, You want to live the 'happy wife, happy life' style of living, but I promise you it don't exist. I had a father that did that with my mother for 20+ years, guess what happen? Divorce, he now lives in a whisker basket somewhere in Kentucky, and mom's got the 4 bedroom house in which we grew up in, she also got the dog, and hell if me and my brothers wasn't grown pretty sure she'd got us too. Speaking of brothers, I have an older brother who took the same approach with a woman married 5, together 10 years that is, guess what happened there? Divorced, lost everything, house, kid, and complete identity.
To wrap this up (cause I have shit to do) Trey, yes I'm with you, Men do need Women to be Men. Our lives and the meaning and purpose of it is to provide and serve the women in our lives, again rather that be your mother, daughter, sister or significant other the women in our lives are like fine, fragile, and highly valuable art pieces. I believe MOST importantly though what Men need is a strong core value system, solid beliefs in which to stand upon, and that's require just to remain a human being. Men also need a level of knowing one's self to a point that he realize, you are who you believe you are, NOT a woman, and you have a right to be who you are. Your will is a gift that was given to you at birth, and to sacrifice that to a woman opinion about you, you might as well be dead.
I just want to wish everyone a Happy Thanksgiving to you all, and to you all Happy Thanksgiving. I'm sure i'm not breaking any news or anything, but man has 2020 been a weird and maga shitty year. Nothing seems right, nothing feels normal, 'the most wonderful time of the year', outside the weather, doesn't actually feel like 'the most wonderful time of the year'. Instead I'll argue so much of what's happened and currently happening around feels so apocalyptic. Covid has practically turned life into a simulations, the social injustice and unrest is at, what i hope to be it's peak, and just so happen it's 2020 which made for one of, if not thee, most hectic in chaotic election ever. I can go on, and on about the shit storm that is 2020 but it's thanksgiving and giving all the shit, there's still a TON we all have to be thankful for.
I want to magnify and highlight a word for this Thanksgiving holiday, really this entire holiday season that we are coming into. That word is GRACE. I think Grace should be the word to carry us through to the End of 2020. According to merriam-webster the definition of Grace is the unmerited divine assistance given to human for their regeneration or sanctification. Grace can also be a virtue from god, it can mean a lot of things, and can vary according to each individual. For me, its pretty simply, Grace is loving, helping, and giving to one another no matter your race, age, sex, or even affiliation with one another. Grace is THANKSGIVING, I also believe it the only way in which we should cross the finish line of 2020 and head into 2021, and what better way to start that now, post the chaos that was this past election.
I don't always like to do it, but it's just becoming part of my nature. I have to go full self-help on your asses. In all seriousness though, I understand that Thanksgiving 2020 is not going to be the same, it can't be, I also know for all of us it will not feel the same. Rather your a believer of the virus or not, rather practice safety measure or not, rather you have your big family gathering or not, we cannot defy or minds, or deny the time in which we are currently living in, Covid lives in our heads and at the forefront of our minds regardless where you stand on it. However, there is still so much in our lives that we have to be grateful, GRACEful and thankful for. The fact that you are reading this for starter, your mere existence here in this crazy world when over 250,000 has succumb in this country alone to the virus. I have lost 2 friends in 2020(not to covid), one as recently as a week ago, and my Dog who was with me since I was 18, she went about 2 weeks ago. So, yeah 2020 has suck majorly in many ways, but it's also has provided me with so many more things to give thanks for, hell I could take up your entire day running off one by one the things I'm thankful for and why, IN 2020. So today my friends, just give thanks, ride the cloud of grace, express love in which ever way possible to everyone you come across today, If your thanksgiving is spent with your family over Facetime, or Zoom show love, if you are getting together with your family give love. Today is a day I want you to take a break from all the stress and repression that 2020 and just keep Grace and gratitude in your hearts and heads and let it led every action you take today, every thought you have today, allow it to lead your day. I mean you might as well because, what's a better alternative? I love you all, I'm very thankful and grateful for your time you give in exploring my mind and thoughts. I am wishing you and all of your loved ones a very very Happy Thanksgiving, Remember Stay IN Peace, NOT in Pieces.
(Thoughts Love and Prayers especially for the families of Joe Orozco, and Tyrone Jabin)
Today is a really tough days for me and my family. My Sasha boo passed away this afternoon. What a run she had! SOO many people she meet and lives she touch running around with me for 14 long years. There is NO love like a dog's love, What I know for sure; is no spirit have ever or WILL EVER love me the way sasha did!
I remember when you came home and into my life when I was 18 years old. Who knew the journey we would embark on. Sasha you were a damn good pup, we shared so many 'first' First love, first heartbreak, first kid, you always seem to know what was needed and when it was need. I remember when Liam became old enough to go play outside in the yard, you used to set up shop right on the front porch and make sure he didn't go out that yard and you made sure nobody step foot near that drive way. What about the time you was much younger and you broke the fence and ran off into the woods where your leash got caught up in the tree's and I had to leave the club and come find you and cut you out of the woods at like 2am... I got on forever, but thanks for the memories. Lord knows you was tired, so while I'm full of sorrow in this moment, I still recognize that this is a bittersweet moment, and that your at ease now
Tears are a sign of strength, courage and authenticity. I promise to continue to strive to be the person you always thought I was, and I only pray I can acquire a fraction of the ability to love the way you did! ❤️🐾❤️
So it's not always that I get a new book requested to read. Usually any book that get stored in my queue come from a book I was in the process of reading already. Personal request are always much better, it something about when someone you personally know, and that knows you on one level or another spark a new and pleasant opportunity to read something that may strike your interest. For the longest time I have been trying to find a clever way to keep you guys updated on my journey of learning with me through literature. The reality of our current time is, lets be honest, nobody reads anymore. I mean look around libraries are rarely used anymore, and every Barnes and Noble on every corner across this country is shutting down and going out of business. One would think it simply because of the multiple ways we can digitally consume our literature, but I'll be the first to tell you its not even that, people simply don't read the way they used too. Hell many people in todays world can't even sit still, and alone with themselves long enough to read their own inner thoughts let along a book, but that's a different topic for a different day that I may write about, or not. Rather it be digital, audio books, or hard copies, we all have one million things we feel we have to do in a 24 hour day, that reading just never make the list of the million. Any who I'm still one the weirdos that still read, and read often digitally might I add.
I had a friend ask me today what my love language is. I didn't have an answer off the top of my head. I happen to be somewhat familiar with the love languages though through just other readings and learning I've done in my lifetime. If your not familiar with them, simple put for you non reading beings the universal 5 love languages are as follow;
Words of Affirmation
Acts of Service
Receiving Gifts
Quality Time
Physical Touch
When asked that question, It can be hard to answer because if you think about it, we can all relate to all of them. We identify with them all on one level or another and it's usually giving the current state of mind and the current situation we are in whenever the conversation, or in the case, whenever the question is posed to us. There are a multitude of quiz and activities you can do on the internet that will tell you what yours is, because of course the internet knows our mines better than we do ourselves, duh.
Well I didn't take any of those quizzes, or do any of those activities to in order to allow master internet to tell me what mine is. I be honest I started a quiz but they we're asking too many question that seem repetitive, so much so that I got to the point where I was just clicking anything to see if the damn thing ever ended and of course it didn't. My A.D.D kicked into the highest gear and before you knew it, I was on to doing.... Hell I don't even know what I start doing but surprise surprise right.
I however came up with a better Idea, I pulled my kindle out search the 5 love languages and pops up this thing in ancient time they called a book that was titled, what'd you know The 5 Love Languages; The Secret To Love That Lasts by Gary Chapman
So I hit download and now I have a new book that I'm going to indulge my brain into and instead one of those dumbass, never ending quizzes I'm going to learn my love language and find a love that last.
Because I know people don't read, although if your reading this, of course you read and I appreciate you reading this and making me feel like me sitting here with a aching back typing, is all worth it. No worries you get a gift for controlling your A.D.D and being a mental warrior, that gift is ironically not having to read the very book I'm fixing to read. There are so many oxymoron's going right now, my mind can't handle it.
Somehow someway that I haven't quite figure out yet, I'm going to read this book and take these 206 pages and kind of summarize it for you. I don't know if I'm do it chapter by chapter, maybe divide the chapters up, maybe do a summary on each love language, who knows, but I just told I didn't so bear with me. You must stay tune, but looking on the bright side this is going to be the gift that keeps on giving. I haven't even got to page 1 and already you got the gift of not paying $14.99, not having to read one page of the book itself, I have lighting the load of the battle you have, sitting with yourself (your A.D.D will thank me later), and ultimately maybe you too will learn your love language(if you trust my ability's to summarize). All those gifts, see I'm a servant and a very nice guy. Hey that's two of the love languages already checked off, are you keeping up?
So strap it on, no lets go with strap in, check back every now and again, or just subscribe to this awesome blog and you will get an email alert when I post.
Ready? Set? Lets get all mushy and sensitive, get in our feels a lil bit and learn about LOVE. Let's be honest the worlds needs it. I'll type to you soon
Everyone knows that the first lesson of investing is to diversify. You don’t want to put all your money into Apple because if Tim Cook goes bonkers and decides to release iToothpaste, then your retirement savings are screwed.
Instead, you’re supposed to spread out your investments across dozens or even hundreds of investment vehicles. That way if something unexpected happens — *cough* like a pandemic *cough* — not all your money goes down the same toilet.
You can kinda think of human relationships the same way. Each of us is forced to be invested in ourselves. If good things happen to us, we feel good. If bad things happen to us, we feel bad.
But as we go through life, we can also build relationships with others. Building relationships is like investing a small percentage of our happiness in this other person, and receiving an investment of some of their happiness in us in return. This allows us to diversify our happiness across many people in many different aspects of life. And this diversification makes our own emotional health more resilient when difficulties in life come.
You want a strong network of relationships because when life comes along and knocks you on your ass — and trust me, it will knock you on your ass — you want an emotional safety net of people who can step in and share a bit of the emotional burden with you.
You want people who will listen and care and sit there and drink eight beers with you even though they know they’re going to feel like ass in the morning. You want people who will call and call again, even when you’re being a dickhead and wallowing in your own self-pity.
Because no matter how big of a badass you think you are, none of us can stand up forever on our own. As human beings, we are evolved to be somewhat emotionally dependent on each other, to rely on each other and need each other, especially in our most trying times.
If you are currently suffering, the most valuable thing you can do is reach out and connect with someone, talk about your problems, and share your pain. It’s the most necessary ingredient to coping with any sort of psychological trauma.
And if life is fucking great and you’re kicking ass right now — awesome! But use this time to build those connections, to share in the ass-kicking goodness, to diversify your emotional investments and create that support network. Because the good times never last. And the next time a crash comes, the last thing you want is to be down in the hole, all alone.
