So today I was just riding around doing my monday usual and A song I havent heard in a very long time came through the speakers. It was a song I haven't heard in avery long time, but one I always did love. It's called "Without A Woman" by Trey Songz. The line that grabs me in the chorus is "I'm telling you a man can't be a man, without a woman." So you can only imagine what happened in my mind, it's start racing and churning and I started to ask myself, is this true? This totally in my wheel house, not cause I know anything, at all, cause I don't. I don't know shit, I like every beating heart, just have an opinion, usually unpopular, but of course it exist, so today I want to share it with you. 

IT's TRUE, Yes I genuinely agree with Trey Songz in his song and lyrics, A man Can't be a man without a woman. It's been said that men's masculinity is something that is elusive (it must be earned) and tenuous (it must continually be proven). Who makes those rules, hell if I know but that a pretty universal stances. It is my belief, that in today's world, everything that makes a man masculine, is determine by social doctrine and the standards place upon by the world around us. I never seen it as a great idea that to best any thing we do off societal normals, or social doctrine, there's a million reason why I feel that way, it's a post for another day, but the fact of the matter is we all do, and we do it A Lot! 

With that said, It's hard to argue the fact that a Man is what a Woman says he is. I mean think about it, a 'REAL' man is usually based off how he treat a Woman, rather that woman be his significant other, wife, mother, sister, daughter, I mean just listen to song(I even gave you the video with lyrics so you can read the song) Outside of money (which one could argue men only want to buy the things to impress women, or buy women for that matter) evrything else a man does is based off women. The job they work, most of the times, I experienced this at it's highest working and being a part of the fire service, hey I'm guilt too. Go into your local gym, ask every man in there why do they lift weights, of course their not going to be honest and say "Women" but another thing I know they won't say is "Health and Wellness" and for whatever answer they give you, if your follow up question is What is it you do for a living? More times than not, their living don't require them to be deadlifting 5,000 pounds, bench pressing 2,000 pounds and squatting 1,000 pounds. I'm willing to go out on limb and say 85% to 90% of men in your local crunch and or planet fitness is lifting for appearance to impress, guess who? Yep! Women. The Men choose to drive, The house, and location Men choose to live, I can go on, and on but it's all for women.

So with that being established, rather it's wrong or right it is what it is, that's actually not why i'm writing here today. My mind actually wonder to 'Ok, be that as it may, what does that say about the men/women sphere and where we stand when it comes to men/women when it comes to relationships specifically.' Now we're talking. Let's look at marriage in the country, according to American Psychological Association In Western cultures, more than 90 percent of people marry by age 50. That's a pretty good number if you ask me, but then it turns bad when the APA also report about 40 to 50 percent of married couples in the United States divorce. The divorce rate for subsequent marriages is even higher. For many many of years the divorce rate in this country have been up over 50% but what even more eye opening is Since 1970 the amount of people getting married continues to fall. Why? maybe that'll be my next research project but for now let's try to stay on topic. 

The problem with Men needing Women to be Men is what happens to Men and Women when this ideology becomes true for the Majority. It is in my opinion that when women learned this, it created two types of women. The first type of woman, was the woman whom learn the power of their femininity, and lets call it what it is, there feminine parts. I mean we can look at the extremes of porn, or bring it down a notch and look at the boom of IG models, and  the boom and growth of the new 'OnlyFans'. Women are using their femininity to make money, swoon men and get pretty much whatever they want. Let's be clear I'm not saying all is bad about this fact, or that I wouldn't do it if I could. The other type of woman you get is the woman who is highly independent. I think these women tend to use their independence to make a man feel less then, to use their accomplishments and material possessions, not only to cover up some other flaws, but to attack the masculinity of man and their need of a men. Now on the other end, What happens to one type of man is they get swoon and suck into make a woman dreams a reality, while in the process, losing themselves, what they stand for and stand on, and any individuality of what makes them uniquely their own man, and the other type of man, it's easy; your not a man.

So, when you get the coming together of any type of woman described in the paragraph above, and really any men, what you get is this; nearly 70 percent of divorces are initiated by women.(according to ADA) In a context to this post that's kind of humorous, in the context of life, it's not. So why is this? I mean hell if I know, I guess A Man needs A Woman to be a man, and when your specific woman decide your not a man then, your out and she's going to build her another one. Nah, but seriously in my opinion this fact is a problem. I think men failed to realize that, you'll never be able to make a woman's dream reality, because that dream is like a impossible feat to reach, it changes everyday like you change underwear. I believe women have to understand that your dream will ONLY become a reality when YOU make that dream a reality, it's not going to be accomplish by any man or hell anyone else for that matter, just go ask every woman on that housewives of hell or whatever that reality show is called you ladies love, or go ask the basketball wives of where ever they'll tell you too, or if not the fact that they rotate through starting 5's more than an NBA All-star game should be a tell-tell sign. For you fellas, don't be a fool. Do for you, the things you desire and want to do first,k Hold on to your identity and masculinity . I have seen it in my own family/social group, You want to live the 'happy wife, happy life' style of living, but I promise you it don't exist. I had a father that did that with my mother for 20+ years, guess what happen? Divorce, he now lives in a whisker basket somewhere in Kentucky, and mom's got the 4 bedroom house in which we grew up in, she also got the dog, and hell if me and my brothers wasn't grown pretty sure she'd got us too. Speaking of brothers, I have an older brother who took the same approach with a woman married 5, together 10 years that is, guess what happened there? Divorced, lost everything, house, kid, and complete identity.

To wrap this up (cause I have shit to do) Trey, yes I'm with you,  Men do need Women to be Men. Our lives and the meaning and purpose of it is to provide and serve the women in our lives, again rather that be your mother, daughter, sister or significant other the women in our lives are like fine, fragile, and highly valuable art pieces. I believe MOST importantly though what Men need is a strong core value system, solid beliefs in which to stand upon, and that's require just to remain a human being. Men also need a level of knowing one's self to a point that he realize, you are who you believe you are, NOT a woman, and you have a right to be who you are. Your will is a gift that was given to you at birth, and to sacrifice that to a woman opinion about you, you might as well be dead. 

But It's a really great sing!