An Open Letter To My Family

Family is suppose to be  a place of safe haven, somewhere we are suppose to be able to go to for shelter, security, help, and LOVE. I'm here today writing this open letter to you all for the lack of all these things, that has hit an all-time high for this family in my opinion. In this moment, I must honestly admit that I am DISGUSTED and ASHAMED to call any of you human being, whom have the same blood of me, pumping through your veins, family. I am upset, disappointed, and a lil in rage over the current state of this family. Eventually I will get over my current state, I will forgive you all, but right now, in this moment, this is what I'm feeling and I will tell you why! I'm going to make my best effort not to single any one individual out, tag, or use anyones name, because I feel, that's a big part of the reason we are going through this crisis. If at any point you are reading this and feel it is coming off as a personal shot at you, then that's a you problem, and you need to fix it.  As we approach my oldest brother wedding, coming up here in about 11 weeks, the fact that he even feel or sense-rather it's true or not-that he has no support coming from his family, and support of the wedding is again BEYOND DISGUSTING AND PATHETIC! I feel a pain, and a sadness for my grandparent, whom if they was here will be highly disappointed in all of us! Regardless of what the reason(s) are and who's the blame, this family, WITHOUT question should all be behind him and his decision to marry WHOMEVER he choose to marry. I'm not sure what the story is that is circulating, what I do know is that it is always at least 2 sides to every story. I don't know what you know, you don't know what I know but that is besides the point why I am here and I am not going to get into that. What  I will do is tell you a few things about blame, and pointing the finger, If we're blaming others, we're not learning. And if we're not learning, we're not improving. So the first thing we all need to do is take the blame away from EVERYBODY, hold your self accountable, blame yourself for indulging in this mess, FORGIVE yourself and your FAMILY! I believe strongly in taking responsibility for everything that happens to you in your life. Our minds are always looking for ways to avoid pain and failure and rejection, and so they constantly churn out rationalizations to keep us impeccable; it’s them who fucked up, not us. We're fine. We did everything right. It's that fucked up world's fault we're not happy. Blame is prioritizing others over yourself. As long as it’s their fault, then you don’t have to make yourself vulnerable. But when one practices taking responsibility for everything that happens in one’s life, one stops blaming others. It becomes less a question of blame and more a question of sacrifice. It’s no longer their fault that we are going through this mess, but instead you take accountability for your part, and make the decision to sacrifice whatever it take to make it right. The question of blame, responsibility and sacrifice is a profound one in relationships as well. Dysfunctional relationships almost always crumble under the pressure of one person blaming the other for their shortcomings or transgressions. 

FAMILY it time to stop blaming each other, NONE OF US IS PERFECT! I know it disappointing that this is the case, I know it disappointing that we let each other down and disappoint each other at time, but WE ARE ALL HUMAN, WE ARE ALL FLAWED, and it going to happen, and it is going to continue to happen for as long as you have breathe in your body. 

Sometimes in life when you encounter problems , problems that encounter more people then just you, it's important that you approach the problem with that same mindset, THAT IT'S MORE THAN YOU! I know firsthand how difficult that can be, but understand that you can't solve a problem in the same mental capacity that got you there in the first  place. It's going to be a process, it going to be A LOT OF GIVE, and you maybe only able to take a little, but the future of this family, THIS ENTIRE FAMILY, rather you like or dislike anybody, is depended upon this action and it more then worth the sacrifice of self validation, and the self-pleasure of being right!

I know what this family have been through the last year or so, the devil has tried and, sad to say succesfully succeeded in separating us on a level like no other. I don't know what the future holds for us, I do have a vision of the future that the road in which we are going down leads too, and FAMILY IT'S NOT GOOD! I can't remember, EVER, in my lifetime, a year when this family didn't gather for holidays that's what 2014 was for us. The only good news is that it's not quite too late, for the sake of love WE MUST FIX THIS!  Before you know it, we all won't be here and it WILL be TOO LATE and no matter how much you try to deny it, you WILL LIVE IN REGRET! Sometimes in life you have to step outside yourself, understand that it's not only about you, swallow your pride and Just ask yourself, is the drama worth it? 

I'll conclude this open latter by saying, I know this will rub some of you the wrong way, I know some of you may take offense to this, and I really don't care. I don't care because I feel this is a necessary step that needed to be taken. You can read this and blow it off, you can read it and take action rather positive or negative, you can NOT read it at all, but this is what I am feeling and this is the reality we are all faced with as a family, right now! Hide, block, deny it all you want, but it's a piece of it at everyone of our doorstep and you cannot run from it! 

I WILL be at my brothers wedding! He WILL have support! HE WILL be able to feel support and I DON'T CARE if I have to go to the edge of the world to provide him that! I WILL be there, and I WOULD be there for all you as well! I think it a shame that he can't get the comfort and support he need here at a place he calls home. To that all I can say is shame on you! I'll be there, it not gone be easy or cheap getting flight tickets, room and board, babysitters taken care of. Some billsand expenses wiil have to take backseat to this event, but some things in life has no $$$ value, LOVE AND FAMILY are two of those things. So, Repo my car, cut off my phone, put me out my home, but I WILL be okay right beside my brother, at one the biggest, (supposedly) happiest days in his life, cause he deserve nothing less! 

I LOVE YOU ALL!