The Parenting Manifesto

As we all know, as parents, parenting can be a highly difficult task. Some often would say it the most difficult job title any of us will ever possess. Theres multiple things that makes this job so difficult, the beliefs that there's a "right and wrong way" of doing it, all the judgment we receive from parenting in a way that may not be the "social norm", for being different and taking on different and unpopular methods to the act of parenting, the way we ourselves was parented, and raised by our own parents, and we can go on and on. One of the best lessons I learned about parenting came from a researcher name Brenè Brown, basically her outlook on parenting says, and these are not her words just me summing up what I took from her words. Parenting is not so much about the act itself, when it comes to parenting you have to look at it under a different light, instead Of the light that says I must protect, and guard you from all of the harmful things that circulate in this world. Instead we must see parenting as, life is a journey, through the journey there will be many obstacles, good and bad things that you will encounter, you can't really avoid these things, I can't save you or protect you from all things, what I can do is promise to be there with you, to do the best I can to help you through any and everything. Realły that's what parenting is, it's not being king, and queen. It's not being the alpha, omega and seeing our children as some puppets that we have control over. Not saying that every parent take this approach, but rather knowingly or unknowingly we all do, we all do it with our children's best interest at heart, it almost human nature to want to protect and secure our kids from this crazy world, but what if I told you ultimately what you doing is probably doing more harm than good. No I'm not being hypocritical, just voicing an opinion. Parenting effectly-not right or wrong- means being human to are kids, we have to normalize ourselves, what do I mean? You have be okay with showing your children that your human, your not alpha king, your everything they our and you make mistakes, you experience a lot of the things that they have and will, good and bad, and this is how you overcame, or elevated your life through your experiences. The next paragraph will start the "parenting manifesto" it is meant to be a prayer, a meditation, a baseline in which I want to parent from. I interact with my kid everyday, so everyday I make sure I read this manifesto just to make sure I stay in line with my values as a parent.

{Above all else, I want you to know that you are loved and lovable. You will learn this from my words and actions—the lessons on love are in how I treat you and how I treat myself. I want you to engage with the world from a place of worthiness. You will learn that you are worthy of love, belonging, and joy every time you see me practice self-compassion and embrace my own imperfections. We will practice courage in our family by showing up, letting ourselves be seen, and honoring vulnerability. We will share our stories of struggle and strength. There will always be room in our home for both. We will teach you compassion by practicing compassion with ourselves first; then with each other. We will set and respect boundaries; we will honor hard work, hope, and perseverance. Rest and play will be family values, as well as family practices. You will learn accountability and respect by watching me make mistakes and make amends, and by watching how I ask for what I need and talk about how I feel. I want you to know joy, so together we will practice gratitude. I want you to feel joy, so together we will learn how to be vulnerable. When uncertainty and scarcity visit, you will be able to draw from the spirit that is a part of our everyday life. Together we will cry and face fear and grief. I will want to take away your pain, but instead I will sit with you and teach you how to feel it. We will laugh and sing and dance and create. We will always have permission to be ourselves with each other. No matter what, you will always belong here. As you begin your Wholehearted journey, the greatest gift that I can give to you is to live and love with my whole heart and to dare greatly. I will not teach or love or show you anything perfectly, but I will let you see me, and I will always hold sacred the gift of seeing you. Truly, deeply, seeing you.}

As parents it highly important that we take the pressure off ourselves, the pressures of being "the perfect" parent, getting everything exactly right. Truth is your not the perfect parent, your not the perfect person, because perfection does not exist and that's a GOOD THING. What's important is that your kids know this to be true, and you don't teach them the imperfect lesson of perfectionism. As my friend Brenè says "I’m not perfect and I’m not always right, but I’m here, open, paying attention, loving you, and fully engaged.” What's important when it come to parenting is that your open, vulnerable, and understanding of the experience your kids go through, even the bad ones when they misbehave and you have to let them know, No! Your not bad, you just did a bad thing, this why it's bad, and this is a better way to get the same outcome without the misbehaving behaviors. If ever you need to level yourself in parenting I think it's more important to ask yourself, not if I'm parenting right, but I'm I being the adult I want my kid to grow up to be? 

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