It was a little over a year ago, when I had finally got through to you. You was the career woman that I never though I have a chance with. You walked, making your way towards work. and my eyes was glued staring at you the whole way threw Everything I used to think during that time, how great you was, how nice it would be to be with you, it all became as false as a myth. With time, and effort I won your heart. I thought I struck gold, thinking it was a prayer answered. Maybe it was, but it put me back in a world that I remember being so dark. You took my heart and abused it in ways in which you'll never know. Force yourself in, force love upon it, and ignore the request and cry out to take things slow. I want to make it clear that I wasn't perfect. I made mistakes, putting up with her shit lead me to a state of misery. Grant it I know that don't justify anything, it don't make it right. But I needed relief, a break from a fight that occurred every night. I got bitched at for living my life. Wanting time to hang out with my brother, you complain and try to deny me that, as if you was my wife. Independent is something that been apart of me, but with you I was never allowed to be. You bitch'd complained, and took offense when I didn't want you under me. I guess these are the consequences, coming behind a guy who had tied you down in engagement for 9 years. I see how that can be damaging in itself. But it made you insecure, on edge, and faced a lot of fears. With you only thinking about negatives, I wasn't even allowed to be myself. That ultimately what lead to that misery, and you can't even start to imaging how that felt. You have did things in the last few months that has totally change what I though I knew. It opened up new question, like is it something wrong with you? You have proceed, and though for whatever reason, it was O.K. to bring your fuck buddy to my house, the place where I lay my head. Became best friends with the same girls who once wished me dead. The same girl who, when was together, bashed and insulted your name to anybody that would listen Is the same girl you cry out, and be missing. You always talk about the materialistic things you did for me, I always knew you was stable It just a shame that's all you had to bring to the table. I sometimes find myself wishing your fuck buddy become your man. There not many things I want more, than you off my hands. You praise him, his looks, personality, and how much of you he adore. I sit and wonder what the hell you waiting for. What you waiting for is me, even though I continue to tell you that we are no more. What's sad is, even if I wanted to be with you, after all at this point we can never be. The mistakes I made is clear. But I'll never regret getting of the hell in which our relationship cause Being older, You always though you knew it all. Which is a part the reason your not here I wonder if you knew, you would be our downfall! John G. Dunn II jgdunn.blogspot.com

Can You Really Be Whatever You Want To Be In America As We Know It Today? Or Has That Time Come And Gone??

One of the most famous sayings in the world is "you can be whatever it is you want to be". Who haven't heard this at least once in their life? I remember hearing it as a kid, and now I'm a father, gives you kind of an idea how long it's been around. It was probably something kids was told even before I was born, now that I'm an adult I can't help but to question how true this ole saying is. The problem isn't that the statement is inaccurate, it's just nobody tells you all the other things, and outside factors you have to depend on, in order to accomplish your dream of being whatever it is you want to be. It's not hard to see that as the world get older, the ability to live, and live comfortable get much tougher. I'm only 23, but I'm willing to bet that the importance of college was not of the level it is now, I'm sure you could get just about any job without a degree, maybe even without a diploma, I'm sure attending grade school wasn't required the way it is by law today. Take modern time, today getting higher education is more likely to lead you into bankruptcy court than it is to land you a career paying job. Cost of living continues to rise as minimum wage struggle to keep up, the debt of this country gets higher and higher it seem like daily. Some economic expert say we're in so much debt, that we can't possible pay it off for at least 3 generations, meaning our kids, grand kids, and great grand kids will be paying off the debt we're currently in. In order to to get a good paying job now days, it no longer about your skills, or credentials really, it all about who you know. That's a big part of the reason why it seems as if the rich get richer, and everybody else get poorer. The same kids who parents can afford college, usually because they have a high position for some company where they make a nice living. That kind of gets us back to what I said about having to depend on others, today your success is heavily factor by who you know, not exactly what you know. Don't get me wrong the more you know, the more skill you have the better but how many people can afford college, or even trade school? What about financial aid, you ask??? Well I never understood why financial aid was call financial aid. Aid means to give support, or help, is that really what financial aid corporations do for people? The way I see it, they give you money, in order to make a profit, I mean duh this is America, is anyone really out to help people. Aid is used to get young people in as much debt as possible, the people who run these financial aid company wish you don't land a job right out of college, and with the economy the way it is. It's very common for graduates to be jobless years after graduation. After graduation guess who come knocking, whomever you got loans from and you think they care if you can't find work? Absolutely not, they want you to stay unemployed as long as possible so that interest keep adding, and building up. The world changes so fast. My son is only 7 months today, but times fly and before you know it he'll be at that age where he has his own goal and dream of what he want to be. it's not that I don't want him to believe that he can't be anything in the world that he wants to be, because in a sense it's true and he can, however I will be sure to let him know that it will not be an easy road. I was never told that, and I'm sure I'm not the only one who wasn't advised of that. I know we grow up, and it something we suppose to kind of pick up with time, I understand, but can you imagine how different it possibly could've been if we knew what we was getting ourselves into before we got there. The world around us changes fast, so maybe our own parents didn't know any better. Nobody predict this recession, and if they did, nobody believed it. I just don't want my kid to do what i did, I had one dream as a little boy to be a fireman, back in them days, school wasn't a requirement, they wasn't laying guys off, and shutting down houses, the way I knew it, you just go to the firehouse and put an application in just as if you would in a fast food restaurant. If I knew then, what I know now, I'd did sooo many things differently to set myself up for sooner, and better success. I think it only fair that we as parents, give it to our kids straight, no sugar coating. It may not seem like the best parenting method at the time, but they can't do nothing but thank you later down the road, when that dream becomes a reality for them. So can you be anything in the world you want to be? Yes, confidently tell your children that, but also advise, warned, and tell them of the tough road and journey which awaits them in achieving their dreams, Most importantly set them up for success as best as you can, as early as you can, and be there every step of the way, going through all the trails and tribulations they face on the road to success. It won't be easy, but your experience and knowledge will be a valuable asset to them throughout this course. Finally, remember this world changes fast, keep up with it, adjust to the best of your abilities, and keep pushing not only for you but also your children. Remember America society is only set up to see you and your family to fail. John G. Dunn II jgdunn.blogspot.com

The End Of A Fire Hero

Very confused, don't know what to think or do. Many years ago, I was just a kid with a dream. Things change, as time flew the only thing remain constant was my dream, and the will to make it come true, grew. I eventually became a man and learned that things in the fire service, as kid, wasn't as they seemed. Who would have knew, as a kid, all the things this damn dream would put me through. A service in which holds a different truth. A service that manipulates and mislead are youth. They look at us as these super human, amazing heroes. Too young to realize that, that's only a half truth. Behind the badge, the title, some of us is nothing but another zero. Ever chance we get, we have to make it clear that we're better than you. A earned brotherhood is what they say I live it, surrounded by it every single day. The same brothers you love, that you would risk it all for Can be-little you, judge you so bad to the point you just want to runaway. I speak with an anger, bitter heart that I've continuously ignored. Biting my tongue, holding back everything my heart want to say. I stand here today working this pin in my hand. Facing the reality that I will probably have the opportunity to fight fire again. Is this the reason I'm coming out giving dirt on the service? I guess you can say so. I saw it more as an opportunity to get some old things off my chest, in the efforts of letting go. I look at it like, I been married to the fire service 18 years In that time I've faced a lot of fears, meet some of my greatest peers, but now I just shed a lot of tears. I fought with a broken heart that I couldn't mend, I gave it all my might. Today, not only do this dream end, I have officially lost this fight! I now possess a life that will forever be incomplete From this day, til the end I will suffer in my own defeat! John G. Dunn II jgdunn.blogspot.com