Forced Out The Nest.

I used to always wonder why people turn 18 and they be in such a rush to "leave the nest" or move out of their parents house? I'm 22 now, late learning but I can say I understand it a little more now. I know so many people who was running from the nest once they turned 18, I always wonder why. Everybody situation is different, for some reason, nobody knows why, but we grow apart not only from our parents but from all our siblings the older we get, some more than others. This is most common with Mothers and Daughters, you always see these two banging heads once the legal age is reached especially in the black homes, but I seen it in boys and their parents as well. I'm not going to get into why, it could be many different reasons. I will tell you young people no matter how old you get, as long as your living in your parents house, rather the rules are childish, or ones that you don't agree with you must abide by them. One thing Parents can't stand is seeing a kid grow up into they own self. It's not that they don't want to see their child grow into a sucessful adult, they just have a hard time letting go, letting go or losing that power and control is a challenge after having it for 18+ years. How do I know this without being a parent??? It simple, why do parents cry at graduations, or feel a sense of sadness if a child go away for school? Off to the military? Or just on vacation, out the country, what about marriage? Yeah, of course they care, but it's more cause they won't see you everyday, or no everything planned in your schedule. Don't get me wrong some parents handle these thing better than others, but they all feel the same sense of sadness.
Staying at home once you pass the legal age will only be as hard as your parents make it. If your spoiled, you can stay at home for as long as your parents live and there's never be a problem with it. If not, eventually not long after the 18th, your going to be pushed out one way or another. It's rarely going to be "Get the hell out" most parents never put it that blunt to you, usually they start to nag, or the most common way is they try to put they hand in your pockets, taking some of the little money you make, to as they say, "put on the rent". Parents tend to forget that you have the same type of life they do now, like going to school, working full time, school and work both, trying to get into your desired career, and they treat you like the kid they still want you to be, all because you live under their roof. Sometimes it can be a combination of all these things, which all of them in my opinion, kind of stop you from growing into your own adult self.
When is enough, enough? When is it too much to handle? When is it time to go? Well like most decision in life, it all about the person you are, and most importantly, timing. The ideal scenario, in my opinion, kids, no matter the age should be able to move out when there in the best position too. No young people, this don't mean being in your late 20's, no job, no career path, just living off your parents. This mean keeping progress in school, or work to get to the level where you get the job, or that raise that gives you that financial stability to be able to move out. So many people like to brag about having there own "spot", or living on their own, but let's not forget the emphasis that need to be put on the word "living". See living in a house or apartment where you sleeping on a air mattress, that's not "living". Sleeping on a mattress that's on the floor, that's not "living". Not being able to have company, because there no furniture or T.V. in the living room, that's not "living". When somebody sit on a couch in your living room, and need help getting up off of it, that's not "living". So to all my braggers, I know so many of you have no choice, but before you try to talk about, or criticize or judge people for living at home, I'm sure they rather live at home then to be doing what you call "living".
To close this out, at the end of the day nobody is to blame in this situation. All you can really do is hope, and pray for the best situation. You be surprised how much you can learn form your parents even as an adult. Unlike as a kid, the things we learn as adults from our parents a lot of times are usually things you don't want to carry into the parenthood stage of your life, it usually things your going to do differently to raise your family better. That's expected though right? We grow into our own person, face and solve or own problems, have our own experiences. All parents do the best they can, that's all you can ask of any person, in any situation not just this one. However, you know how they say "you wore out your welcome"? Well, rather you want to believe it or not, this exist even with parents. We all like to be able to leave the nest on our own terms, but sometimes your terms, or plans just move too damn slow.


John G. Dunn II
jgdunn.blogspot.com