I Think it's rather important to start this off by saying that I love my mother to death and wouldn't change her for the world. I'm not sure if anybody knows, even family, but me and my ma don't have the best of relationship. I think our relationship went bad long time ago honestly, back in my Hughes high school days. Anybody that knew me back in my Hughes days know I was an ASS, I mean I was BAD very bad. My last year at Hughes, It got so bad to the point my mother literally gave up on me. She told the teacher "Do whatever you got to do with him, just don't call me no more.". I mean it was bad though I have to be honest. She was getting calls everyday sometimes multiple days straight. It's nothing like having your mom give up on you, nothing like that feeling. The person you care about the most, the person who's opinion is the only one that counts to you.I never really complain about it to much cause it did change me forever in not only a bad way, but a good way as well. Good, cause I woke up, I got my act together, change schools and been very successful since then and turn into the fairly decent guy that I am now. Bad, cause I've never forgave my mother for that and probably never will. Me and my mother could fool you, the same way we have my family, we can talk, hang out, laugh and smile with each other and make it seem like we have a great relationship, but as they say things aren't always what they seem to be. I can't stress to you how much I LOVE my mother, I don't want you to think I'm some idiot that don't know how bless I am to have the type of mother I have or a mother at all! Anybody that knows my mom, would probably say she's a great lady, and that she is. Beautiful, Spiritual, careful, and just a overall great human being, but none of you came up with her, not that it was hard too, but none of you effected her the way I may have. I'm not sure what, or how bad my BAD years at Hughes effected my mom, but when someone give up on you, it had to be bad right?
You know how they say the middle child is the neglected one, well that's exactly how I feel sometimes. My mom have 2 other kids. Both boys, one older and one younger than me. They say a parent always love the oldest cause they're the first born, love the youngest because they're the baby, and the middle just fit somewhere in between. Sometimes I can feel that personally. My Lil brother is a spoil brat, and my oldest do seem to have the closest relationship with my mom between the three of us. I feel that my future is bright. but it do scares me. I feel like once I leave my mothers house, I also will lose contact with my mom. That's not necessarily what I want, but that's seems to be the road we're going down. I know you thinking what is the problem? Why do you continue to feel this way after so many years. To tell you the truth it's many reason that I won't get all into but one main one. That one main reason is cause my mother attitude STINKS! My mom is a good person, but just like us all, she has flaws. Her main flaw is the attitude she has, maybe it just towards us, her kids, or me. My mom is the type that if and when she gets mad at anything she takes it out on everybody. If you know me, or ever get to know me, you will know that I don't have an attitude at all(unless it involves sports.) I never really get to mad at anything or anybody, if I do it's never for long. I rarely get upset(unless sports are involved.)I know everybody is not like me, but since I don't have an attitude, I don't associate myself or deal with people with attitudes. Rather it's a friend, girl, or parent I don't deal with it or stay around people with attitude. Attitudes is another topic for another day but my mom has one of the worst attitudes I ever seen, and this is why we'll never get along, it's like one them things I just can't deal with.
You know how they say,"Man tend to be mostly attracted to women that's reminds them of there mother, or carry similar characteristic or personality traits. Many think that's true, and there is many cases out there that proves that theory. I must say that I would never ever give a girl like my mom the time of day, I couldn't. Even if I did, There is no way it would last or workout. My mom been with the same guy for about 16 yrs and married for 14 of those, so it pretty evident that she makes a good wife, I'm not saying that she don't I'm just saying the woman I give my life too couldn't be like her as the mom I know her to be. I say that cause I can never look at my mom as anything but my mom but my last and only true love was a lot similar to my mom and also had a Stinky attitude and as you can see didn't work, I think we we're together all of 6 months, that's also another topic for another day. Because I don't have that same attitude problem my mom has, I know that when I have kids of my own some day I will raise them a lot differently but similar in some ways if that makes any sense. I'm not saying I'll be a better parent, I don't know we'll just have to wait and see, my point in saying that, is that I'll raise my kids with a different mentality, with a different take and outlook on things. A lot of things our parents do may in our opinion seem unfair, and that went on a lot in my life. I don't mean to sound bitter or nothing like that, but my little brother is spoiled and to be honest the oldest one was a one point as well. Example, there was a point in time where my oldest brother got every pair of new Jordan's that game out, and they came out on a month to two month basis back then, me I've never had a pair of Jordan's in my life! Seriously. Examples for the little brother, where do I start? He gets $20 dollars a week for lunch, when I was in high school,I was lucky to get $10. Small?? Yes, but things that kids can pick up. When I was in high school I had to get a job to get things I wanted, my baby brother on the other hand get anything he ask for and more! At the same age as they we're when they got showered with these things, I never had anything. don't get me wrong, I never intend to sound as if I was bummy, cause had more than most, just didn't have it like they did. I know I wasn't the best kid in school but my brothers wasn't angels either, especially the little one. The oldest was a good all around student. I believe kids she be treat as close to equally as possible, and I command my mom for equally providing the things we needed to survive, but no matter how closed minded you want to be the material things count too especially at that age. I feel there has always been favoritism and it's never been towards me. I'm better for it today, because I don't need the material things now days to be happy, or to feel good about myself. I don't need the nice ride, or the Biggest TVs or the newest hot shoes, and latest fashion gear(whatever is "HOT" now days.)Ha don't I sound like that neglected middle child people talk about???
To close this out, once again I must say I love my mom to death, and owe her the world. Rather good or bad she has influenced me in both ways and help me to become the man I have grown to be. As we grow from babies, to toddlers, kids, teens, adolescents, young adults, to adults(If that's the right order) we come up under our parents wing, under our parents supervision. I understand we our raised by our parents and we learn from them and there parenting techniques no doubt. I have also grown to learn, that we'll never be a spitting image of our parents, we'll never grow up to be the exact way they want us to be, and will never grow up and hold on to every lesson or thing they may have passed down to us. Why??? Simply because we grow up differently, we are raise differently as well. I guarantee our parents didn't raise us exactly how our grandparents raised them. And this is not a bad thing at all cause the world changes, new trends start, new patterns start and as time goes, we get wiser, we develop better techniques and sometimes we have to teach and learn differently as the things around us change. Something I like to call growing on the fly. As parents(Which I'm not one yet)we always say we want to give our children the life we never had, teach them things we had to learn the hard way. Understand that no matter how hard you try, your children will never be exactly how you want them to be. The best you can do is teach them and raise them to the best of your ability. My mom did a hell of a job with us, I hear all the time,"Your parents raised a fine young man" that being true, I'm sure I didn't turn out the exactly how my mom wanted me to be, but I'm sure she is satisfy with how I turned out. What my mom did was provide us with a great Platform, she taught us the core values of life, the most important things in life, how to work, how things may not go your way all the time, how to earn things, she rewarded us, and she disciplined us when necessary, she also shared lessons with us that she went through, bad and good, in attempt to show us that nobody is perfect, though I may never have the same relationship I had with my mom back when I was born up and til 2006, or the same type relationship my brothers have with her, I can always be grateful and thankful for the platform she provided me with so when the day come that I have kids of my own. Amazing with all that said, I just realized in a sense my kids will possess something that my mom once gave to me.
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