A Day I Still Can't Believe is Near

In exactly a Week from today at approx. 2:31 am my baby brother will no longer be a baby as he celebrates his 18th birthday. For some reason I can't cope with the idea that he will be a legal adult. I still see him as the lil boy who never said anything, the lil boy who stayed outsides for hours and hours of the day, the lil boy that my mama always spoiled and still do to this day. Sometimes I wonder why can't I deal with this fact, why can't i accept it? I come up with a few different answers, most important one being the fact that as adults me and my 2 brother are more closer now than ever. To understand me and my brother is practically impossible for anybody, I'm not even sure how much my own parents understands us, the reason I say this is because we we're like distant brother in the same household. Coming up we just wasn't the closest for whatever reason, of course we always cared for and loved each other because we are born brothers so we was taught to do those things but coming up we did our own things. We participated in the same activities(sports) with the same organization, we went to the same schools for as long as we could, I even remember the days living in westmont when we bath together as kids and I never liked too for the simple fact that they liked the water way to hot for me. As adolescents and/or teenagers I can really only speak for myself, because i spent most of that time away from home. Ages 15-17, arguably the most important years of a boys' life, I spent with my older cousin. Every summer of them years I spent under a cousin who was the same age as my older brother, I was spending weeks at a time at his house, it got so bad that my mama had to make me come home, and would go to him when I got in trouble in school and need a talking to or to be shook up. To get back on the subject, during that time i have no way of telling what kind of relationship my big brother and baby brother had developed at the time. By far our best years together in my opinion has been the last 3 to 4 years, because we finally started to act as people say brothers should. These we're the year I went through some of the most crucial stumbles in my life, which turn out to be a good thing because my big brother was there to see me through them, which taught me the importance of brotherhood at the time my baby brother was in that 15-17 age range. I can't help but to think God plan it exactly that way. I finally feel like I'm getting to know my lil brother now, I have a long ways to go because I knew so little about him, for example I have not the slightest idea of what my brother wants to be in life other than a professional athlete, and what kid don't have that dream? The fact that he's still the quiet, unpredictable, and un-readable person he is don't help the problem. He is my little brother and because of that I realize we have a lot of similarities, because of that fact i can kind of get understand of who he is and how think and try to build off that. Today I look at my little brother as something like a son I guess, because of that sometimes I find myself being a little overprotected and trying to protect him from things and problems that going to make him into the man that he's soon to be. I'm working at getting to the point where I just sit back and observe into it times to step in and help, and be there when he ask for help, which will probably never happen because i never ask my older brother for help he kind of stepped in when he figure he needed too. The thought of my brother about to actually be out of high-school in the next year, be his own man, start to have a night-life these things right now are just not sitting in well with me right now. The fact that he's so independent and to his self is the part that scares me, I don't know what he knows as far as street smarts, how to handle his self in public, how to stay away from bad crowds, how to surround himself with positive people that can actually help him in life and positively rub off on him, how to handle these fast lil ladies out here, and what his decision making is like. I guess I have to just trust my faith in God to keep him and good hands, and trust what he inherited from growing up with the same parents and the core values me and my oldest brother grown up with. I try not to worry to much, he has done good so far. I guess the best educations I can give him now is to just lead by example. My will for success is so strong because I want to not only be able to tell him how to do right, but more importantly show him. He is one of my main motivations to be successful. Every challenge I face, every road block I come across, every obstacle that gets in my way I go at we the thought of failure not being an options, and beside me other reason I want to succeed for him. I want to be the best firefighter I can be for the community, myself, and to also represent my family and the Dunn name. I had a friend ask me, "What if your brother wanted to follow your footsteps and be a fireman?" After thinking about it, I learn that the idea of that is not something I like to think about. I know the dangers of this job and how tough it can be physically, emotionally, and mentally. I guess the only way I would be cool with Ivan being a fireman, is if only he work in the same house as me on the same crew. To have my baby brother working in the same profession as me, as dangerous as it is, I want nobody else looking after him then me. The fact that I don't know what he wants to do in life, makes this a very strong possibility, one that I don't know how to deal with. My lil brother is turning 18, that really rattles my mind. It's funny how times flies really. He still young and I think we always need guidance through out life, and for as long as I live I can say that I will always be there for my brothers, even as the little one grow old. Even though he has grown to be taller than me, and is the tallest of all three of us, he will always be the baby and the way I see it, he is my priority until the day that i start my own family and even then he is still a priority of mine he and his family, and they will always be token care of and in goods hands. So to my baby brother, as you turn 18, keep nose out the sky, keep your heart to God and ride the roller coaster of life as your only allow one go around. Continue to grow and do as you have been doing, be successful, know that the people in your corner is ol so strong and because of that you can take risk, the ol saying says "To win big rewards, you must take big risk." So Ivan take your risk, take your risk proudly and strong mind, knowing that if ever you fail, if ever you fall there will always be somebody there to pick you up, dust you off and put you back on the track, remember that with the family, me, and God never are you alone.